My fellow Quarantiners…If you are like me I assume you are trying to keep yourself busy, whether it’s with home workouts, binging your favorite Netflix show, or picking up a new skill. I must confess, I’m a black girl who does not know how to cornrow, but I’m working on it.
Like the rest of us, I am desperately missing outside, and cannot wait for it to be legal again! As I reminisce about the fun days outside of quarantine, I’m going through old pictures because if you can’t flex in person, you just might have to flex virtually! I’ve been unapologetically posting my “take me back” vacation pictures.With that said, I am also coming across old pictures with my friends, family and Lord Voldemort (my ex). But some friends I lost touch with just due to life getting busy and the wonderful world of ADULTING.
In my nearly 10,000 photo album, there were also pictures with people I would have considered close friends just a couple of months ago. Unfortunately, they feel like distant associates now because I let the friendship fizzle away over a petty situation and lack of communication. However, after reflecting on our memories, from vacation trips to random nights at the bar to just chilling in my car talking smack, I figured I should reach out. Many times we are reluctant to talk to people about what we are feeling for a series of reasons. Pride, arrogance, or just plain laziness that we disguise as “I don’t want negative vibes.” In reality, we will never be 100 percent happy with our friends all of the time. If something is bothering you and that is a worthy friendship, just reach out.
Look at Issa and Molly, at the beginning of the new season of Insecure. Issa shockingly said that her and Molly aren’t friends anymore and I know I gasped for air because, why?! Amongst women, that is all too common, which quite frankly is sad AF. While men can be forty years old and still have their sandbox friends. I am not sure how Issa and Molly’s friendship will crumble but it can possibly be due to lack of communication. From the last few episodes, we are already witnessing the miscommunication and hostility in their relationship. It’s painfully obvious that Molly is not feeling Issa’s friendship with Canola Oil (Lawrence’s new bae). Also, the way Issa told Molly that she refuses to be happy, resulted in Molly not sharing her genuinely happy moments with Issa. I’m anxiously waiting to see what will happen next.
On a serious note, everyone has probably been speaking since they were two years old or maybe four years old, if you were a late bloomer. But somehow we find it difficult to express our feelings to our friends and family. If you find yourself missing your old friendships try these easy steps to rekindle that relationship:
· Be genuine. If you are not willing to be real with your friends then there is no point in starting the conversation.
· Remember it’s not what you say, a lot of time it's how you say it!
· Try to see the situation from your friend’s perspective, we all have toxic traits even you so be mindful of that.
· Listen… can’t stress this enough. Having an open and intimate conversation with your friends can only be successful if you actually want to hear their opinions.
Honestly, depending on the bond it is more difficult to lose a friend than your boyfriend.
1. Because I already somewhat expect “aintshitness” from a guy (But that's a topic for a different day)
2. I personally believe in friendship soul mates.
Don’t lose out on “your person” (Total Grey’s Anatomy reference, if you need something to binge…it’s an amazing show with a lot of seasons.)
Thank me later. In more important news, I hope everyone is healthy and staying at home!